did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Boobs are out for the taking
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
