Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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