I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
