Got a toothbrush?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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