I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Randomize
