Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Randomize
