Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
