I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
