She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
