his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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