Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
