Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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