ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
