somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
