i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
So here I am, sexting at work.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
