whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
