Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
