As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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