White coat. Heels.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
