If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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