well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i came on her dog
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You brought string cheese to the strip club
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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