...so i touched it.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
