Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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