Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
