This show inspires me to have sex in space
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
