I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
