that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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