She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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