Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
