My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
How does one acquire holy water?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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