She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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