I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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