Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
