id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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