PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
