susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
