call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
