there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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