Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Randomize
