you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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