i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
