Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Randomize
