We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
