It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
