I feel like abortions should bother me more
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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