im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
