Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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