Buhtt sex?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
