I don't think brook has ever known best
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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