ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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