my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
