Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
