Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
